Hi all,

I’m writing with an IMPORTANT UPDATE. And that is: on the plane earlier today, I actually watched Reagan. Almost in full. The flight ended when I had about 20 more minutes to go but it left off around 1988 which is perfect because I was alive back then and my memory can take it from here. As I recall, nothing bad ever happened again thanks to The Gipper!

Well, folks, this simply upends the entirety of my Oscars analysis. I’m afraid Reagan got snubbed across the board! A crime against its seven backers with whom I’m sure you’re familiar (Showbiz Direct, Alluwee Productions, American Troubadours, MJM, Rawhide Pictures, Makeshift Productions, Toy Gun Films)! Not to mention a slap in the face of the all-star cast including Creed Frontman Scott Stapp (third billed) and Hercules himself, Kevin Sorbo! 

Let's explore the many categories for which Reagan should have been nominated:

Screenplay

First, the screenplay. I wrote down some choice lines so you can see just how economical and powerful the script is:

Example 1:

NARRATION (the only time narration is utilized, about halfway through the movie): "It was morning in America, as his supporters would say, but in just a few days that morning nearly disappears as quickly as it had come." 

Pithy! And with perfect tense continuity! 

Example 2:

"All I want to be is the guy who gets to say nyet to the Soviets"

SAME! 

Example 3:

Reagan to his speechwriter: "I am about to start the biggest war of the century. Maybe of all time. And I'm not going to fire a single shot. I'm going to fight it with words. And they have to count. Every single one of them. So say what you mean and mean what you say." 

Cut to: scene of Reagan delivering a speech at the National Association of Evangelicals. About God or somesuch.

I have chills! 

Example 4:

Nancy: "where was he hit?!”

Advisor: “I don't know they're looking for the bullet...

[casually]... And Jim Brady was hit in the head"

[end of scene]

A perfect way of mentioning that former White House Press Secretary Jim Brady took a bullet to the noggin without pulling focus away from Ronnie!

Editing

I’d also argue that Reagan got snubbed for editing. I mean, the movie wasn’t really a narrative story, per se, but rather a full compendium of every moment of his life conveyed via 50-second long vignettes, stitched together through fake news headlines doing the heavy lifting of telling his biography. So, in that way, it was kind of more like a slideshow presentation... But look at these slides!

This Wogan Daily News headline about Kennedy tells us so much about Reagan! 

Cinematography 

Perfectly placed horse! I can almost make out the kissing in the background!

Makeup and Hairstyling

Though he’s only in one shot, Creed Frontman Scott Stapp is nearly IDENTICAL to Frank Sinatra, no?

Visual Effects

Are you taking notes, Chris Nolan?

Production Design

While I was left with a few questions about how Regan’s time working to bolster the SAG union (which they weirdly spent a fifth of the movie on) actually hardened his resolve against unions, I was glad that this plot line gave us the opportunity to see this sumptuous production design:

Best Picture

My God. What an ending! 

Forget everything I said in my last email. This was the best movie of 2024. Perfect from start to almost finish. Too bad we have to watch Anora win just because it it won the Palme d’Or at Cannes. And that voting body... A bunch of communist sympathizers, all of them! Taking up residence in Hollywood! We have to root out the Commies! 

Join me on Sunday, March 2nd, as we celebrate the fall of the Soviet Union and, in the immortal words of Ronald Reaggie, “tear down that wall!” And by tear down that wall I mean there will be nothing that comes between us and ABC Primetime Coverage! And nothing between the couch and the television! This is the freedom Reagan was talking about.